Are You a People Pleaser or a Go-Getter? Understanding the Four Personalities
- Marlene Le Roux
- Feb 25
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 14
Do you ever wonder why you act differently around your coworkers than you do with friends? Or why certain people bring out sides of you that you didn’t even know existed? I’ve been reflecting on this a lot after reading Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. This book explores the four classic personality types—Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, and Melancholy—and shows how understanding them can help us navigate our relationships and personal growth.
If you’ve ever taken personality tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or the DISC personality profile, you’ll find Littauer’s four personalities to be an approachable yet equally insightful framework. What’s fascinating is how we can embody a mix of these personalities at different times and with different people.
For instance, I’ve taken the test countless times, thinking I could pin down who I really am. And yet, I always land on a mix of Melancholy and Phlegmatic. But the funny thing is, when I’m driving a friend or even chatting with an Uber passenger, a little bit of Sanguine sneaks out. I turn into a stand-up (or sit-down, in the Uber) comedian, trying to entertain and make people laugh. Is that my Sanguine side making a rare appearance, or is it my Melancholy need for validation showing up, trying to be noticed? It’s a thought that lingers.
The Four Personality Types
1. Sanguine (The Life of the Party):
Outgoing, fun-loving, and spontaneous, Sanguines thrive on connection and humour. They bring energy to any room but can sometimes struggle with consistency. That friend who tells the funniest stories but forgets the time? That’s a Sanguine.
2. Choleric (The Go-Getter):
Confident, decisive, and driven, Cholerics are natural leaders who love achieving goals. Their no-nonsense approach gets things done, but they can be impatient or overly controlling at times.
3. Melancholy (The Perfectionist):
Thoughtful, detailed, and organized, Melancholies crave structure and order. They’re the planners, the deep thinkers, and often the overthinkers. While they excel in analysis, they can struggle with indecision or fear of failure.
4. Phlegmatic (The Peacekeeper):
Calm, easygoing, and empathetic, Phlegmatics are natural listeners and mediators. They avoid conflict and prefer harmony but can sometimes procrastinate or shy away from bold decisions.
Where People Pleasing and Productivity Fit In
When it comes to being a people pleaser, Phlegmatics and Sanguines often fall into this category. Phlegmatics avoid conflict and want to keep everyone happy, while Sanguines thrive on attention and approval. These traits make them wonderful at building relationships but can also lead to burnout or neglecting their own needs.
On the other hand, Cholerics and Melancholies are more likely to focus on getting things done. Cholerics are action-oriented and love tackling goals, but they can be so focused on productivity that they overlook emotional needs. Melancholies, on the other hand, strive for perfection but often get stuck in overthinking, which can slow their progress.
Adapting to Different Situations
One of the things Littauer’s book highlights is how our personalities can shift depending on who we’re with. For example, I’ve noticed that while I’m naturally more reserved (hello, Melancholy!), being around my Sanguine friends or driving an Uber passenger brings out my playful, witty side. I crack jokes, share funny stories, and genuinely enjoy making people laugh. But sometimes I wonder—am I doing it to connect, or is it my Melancholy side trying to earn approval?
What’s even more fascinating is how partners can bring out different sides of us. A Choleric partner might inspire you to take action, while a Phlegmatic friend might bring out your empathetic, calm nature.
Working with Our Strengths and Weaknesses
What I’ve learned from Personality Plus is that all personalities have their strengths and weaknesses, and there’s no “better” or “worse” type. Instead, it’s about recognizing your tendencies and working to balance them.
• For People Pleasers: If you identify with Sanguine or Phlegmatic, practice setting boundaries. You don’t need to make everyone happy to be valued.
• For Go-Getters: Cholerics, slow down and listen to others’ feelings. True leadership includes empathy.
• For Perfectionists: Melancholies, focus on progress over perfection. Taking the first step is more important than making it flawless.
• For Peacekeepers: Phlegmatics, challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone. Even small steps can lead to big change.
A Blend of All Four
One of the most empowering insights from the book is that we’re not just one personality type. We’re a blend, and we can adapt depending on the situation. For me, understanding my tendencies as a Melancholy-Phlegmatic has been a journey of learning to embrace my strengths while working on my challenges.
So, whether you’re a people pleaser, a go-getter, or somewhere in between, remember that your personality isn’t fixed. It’s fluid, and every type has its strengths. The key is to know yourself, appreciate your unique mix, and grow from there.
What about you? Have you discovered which personality you lean toward? And how does it influence how you navigate life? Let’s celebrate our differences and embrace the personalities that make us who we are.
💬 What’s YOUR personality blend? Drop your type in the comments or tag a friend who brings out the best in you! ⬇️
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